But you know, nothing in her letter suggests that they had any clear communication about either their desires for the direction of a relationship near the beginning, nor the direction of their particular relationship, until after she returned from that trip. Now, you can say she’s totally innocent here, and technically be right. In fact, I wouldn’t even say that it’s right or wrong necessarily that they waited until the 5th month to make things exclusive. Relationships do unfold on their own timetable. My main point is that it’s harder to shift things the longer the tide goes in a certain direction. That’s all.

The way I see it, if you are passive or indecisive about what you want for long enough, then either people with be confused about what you want, or they will simply keep operating the way they have been operating.

Both partners always play a role in what happens in a relationship. That’s even the case if one partner does something awful, is totally abusive, or is just plain jerky. I want to make it quite clear that I see abuse, cheating, and the rest as always the responsibility of the person committing them. The OP isn’t at all responsible for swinger guy’s behavior – he chose to do what he did.


Educated Women’s Contempt For Men
Measuring Your Dating Game Outcomes
The Underlying Axioms Of Game
Game As Part Of Your Attraction Palette
The Close Line
Dominance and Femininity
Comfort Dating Game By Stocking Your Fridge
On The Joys Of Dominance
Walking The Edge Of The Cliff In Modern Dating
Flirting versus Being Flirted With

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