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Amy Says:
July 26th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Each of us has our own baggage. And we also have our own triggers. For instance, my first husband suffered from depression. It was a huge issue (and so was his unwillingness to work hard at managing it) – and it left me very scarred. So for me, a person with depression would trigger a lot of bad memories and probably make me bolt. He also had a hair-trigger temper and a lot of anger issues. So when I dated my now-husband, I could see that he had a very long temper – it takes him forever to get mad and blow up. That was something I watched for very closely because of my past experiences. If i had not been through those things, it might not have been so important to me.
So it is my conclusion that there are no hard/fast rules about this. What we can handle really depends on our own life experience (i.e. ‘baggage’). For me, addictions, repeated cheating, long term financial mismanagement are all indicators of instability. Anyone can make one mistake, but perpetual stuff is foolish to ignore. If someone has been dealing with something for a long time (even intermittently), chances are that if you have a relationship with them, you will be dealing with it as well. Some things can be managed and accepted, others not. But I think, as I said, it has more to do with us and our own histories than anything else.
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Reply
Amy Says:
July 26th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Each of us has our own baggage. And we also have our own triggers. For instance, my first husband suffered from depression. It was a huge issue (and so was his unwillingness to work hard at managing it) – and it left me very scarred. So for me, a person with depression would trigger a lot of bad memories and probably make me bolt. He also had a hair-trigger temper and a lot of anger issues. So when I dated my now-husband, I could see that he had a very long temper – it takes him forever to get mad and blow up. That was something I watched for very closely because of my past experiences. If i had not been through those things, it might not have been so important to me.
So it is my conclusion that there are no hard/fast rules about this. What we can handle really depends on our own life experience (i.e. ‘baggage’). For me, addictions, repeated cheating, long term financial mismanagement are all indicators of instability. Anyone can make one mistake, but perpetual stuff is foolish to ignore. If someone has been dealing with something for a long time (even intermittently), chances are that if you have a relationship with them, you will be dealing with it as well. Some things can be managed and accepted, others not. But I think, as I said, it has more to do with us and our own histories than anything else.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
https://bit.ly/48A02qQ
https://bit.ly/4rH5kJO
https://bit.ly/48vRMbc
https://bit.ly/48AdtXI
https://bit.ly/48E4SmT
https://bit.ly/4rt5dkO
https://bit.ly/48zQOus
https://bit.ly/44I5F4P
https://bit.ly/4pHZpCk
https://bit.ly/49Q4Ev8
https://bit.ly/4pSZwv3
https://bit.ly/4rAjEUn